Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Guilt and Grace

The first post on a blog is always awkward. This first post will be no different. It's customary to introduce oneself, but I don't feel the need to do that. You either know me or you don't. You like me or you don't. I can't really sway those feelings either way by words on a computer screen so I won't try. I felt drawn to write today because I'm feeling so stretched in every direction. There are so many people who keep calling me "SuperMom" and there couldn't be a person more unworthy of that title. I'm not her (although I'm going to be for Halloween!). I try to be her, but I fall short all the time. I want to let go of the guilt-

-the my child did this today and that's a reflection of ME guilt

-the my child needs a therapy program that isn't available around me guilt

-the I don't remember the last time I actually cooked dinner guilt

-the I'm not fit enough guilt

-the I still have so much sin in my life guilt

-the I pin activities to do with my kids, but don't actually ever do them guilt

-the my house is messy so my life must be messy guilt

If I look, I can find guilt and regret in so many things. But guess what?

-Sometimes kids just do or say crappy things. It doesn't mean I'm a bad mom. It doesn't mean that I'm not trying. It simply means my work isn't yet done. It's just beginning.

-The therapy can be done at home if I discipline myself to learn how to do it and follow through. I can help him.

-My husband enjoys cooking. Why would I add to my already full plate so to speak?

-I have three kids. One who has doctors and therapy appointments multiple times a week. One who keeps me up all night. I don't have much help because I can't afford it. It's exercise or sleep and the former rarely wins.

-Sin? Who doesn't have it? Only one. And he set me free from mine.

-As far as Pinterest goes, isn't it the thought that counts? ;)

-Again, I have three kids. Four if you count my other half. Their median age is 2.25. All boys. I could clean eight hours a day and not be finished.

I'm making a decision right now (at least for today) to be done with the guilt. Sure, it'll creep back up and try to get me, but I'll just have to remind myself that that girl is gone. I'm working. I'm trying. I'm doing a good job. And I'd venture to bet that you are, too.

Give yourself some grace.

"She watches over the affairs of the household and does not eat the bread of idleness."
Proverbs 31:27


Kelly said...

You may not be supermom, but you are without a doubt a SUPER mom. Never forget it, Mama. The new blog is beautiful. Can't wait to read more! Xoxo

Jenn said...

I agree with Kelly! You are a Super Mom. One to look up to. You may not think you are doing a great job but believe me you are. Your boys are adorable, happy, and most of loved. All of this is a direct reflection of you and your care for those boys. Also I am so excited for you and this new blog!

JG said...

Looking forward to the new blog! I feel this post SO much (although admittedly on a smaller scale, only having one kid not having nearly the responsibilities you do). Lots of guilt battle going on over here. Appreciate your transparency, as always :)

Karen said...

I love the new blog look! And as far as the Mom guilt - I think we all have it to some extent. I admire you so much because you have 3 boys who are happy and you can tell they are so loved by you guys and that's such an awesome thing. And the number of things I've pinned on Pinterest and have never done, I can't even begin to count lol.

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